PPF (past present and future)

It's currently 1:36 p.m. and I just woke up.
It's also a Wednesday.
Lucky for me I don't have class until 2:40 today, so no problem there. But I really did plan on getting up, getting some work done, going to the gym- you know, actually being productive in college. But I had the best night's sleep ever, really. Or at least one of the best. ahhhhh.....

Well that's neither here no there. This weekend I've got two plays on the docket: The Lion King and The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged. The first is a professional musical (which EVERYONE should see at least once in their lifetimes) and the second is being put on by the conservatory I went to last year. Apparently going 1 semester makes me an alum and I get in for free, so whooopi! I mean, I would have gone anyways. I miss that theatre, miss the people.

Actually I haven't really seen anyone since I moved back to Chicago this semester. I saw two of my friends the very night I came back, for dinner with my folks, but no one since then. No, that's a lie, I ran into a fellow ditcher who also goes to DePaul now, but he was on his way to class and it was one of those quick, "O hey, how ya doin'?" moments. So that doesn't really count.

Also on Friday I have a meeting with my academic advisor to go over what classes I should be looking at for next quarter. As I'm still undeclared I suppose there'll be a lot of gen eds just waiting for me.

I seriously have no clue as to what I want to do with my life. I'm drawn to creative writing and film studies but I'm not confident that a career lies there for me down either of those roads.
I want to do something that will make a difference, really better the world.
But I'd be lying if I said money wasn't a factor.
It totally is.
I want to travel, I want to have kids, I want to do all this stuff that requires a decent pay check.

Also I'm a commitment-phobe. Really, I can't stand being tied down by something. Making plans too far in advance gets to me, because what if something better pops up? Or, more likely, what if I change my mind? I feel like it would work the same way with me in the professional workforce. I couldn't stand being tied down to a 9-5 desk job with 2 weeks vacation every year. I need the freedom to improvise!

On the flipside, I also crave stability. I would totally be freaking out if I didn't have a steady flow of income.

And I need something to feed my soul, something creative.

.......I got nothing.